Springbok Nude Girls and Arno Carstens play here. Plus the beer rocks
What type of World Cup survivor are you?
World Cup 2010 nostalgia? No way. Cape Town's got (more than) balls.
Cape Town's been on the ball for the last few FIFA weeks but now it's all finished and done. In its wake, we tearfully lay ourselves down to die and - wait, that's wrong. Looking beyond the ball, it's plain to see that life's not over, even if it feels like it. Cape Town is more alive than it's been in ages, despite the cold and rain, and there's so much to do. So what if the Cup has waved Adios already? You can still score, no matter how bad your withdrawal symptoms are.
Why withdrawal? Need we ask? The World Cup turned most of us into fans, and in some cases, fanatics, and in the worst case, dithering schizophrenics with beer bladders. But bloody ‘ell, those balls are seductive. Returning to reality, to your normal personality, may require help. Follow our guide and you'll find that filling your abundant spare time is easier than logging on to Facebook.
What type of World Cup survivor are you? Choose a response that most expresses your post FIFA feelings:
"It's going to be fine. I promise. We'll see, maybe we can have another World Cup here. Or the Olympics! You like fireworks, don't you?"
You are: an extrovert, a socialite, sometimes unreliable, sometimes overly optimistic
You could: party. Run up a mountain. Paraglide. Abseil. And did we say party?
Also try...
The fifth International Oriental Dance Festival: Babes showing off their bellies are sure to lure you out of your seat.
Madame Zingara's Tent of Dreams (limited period) for a fantastic meal with incredible circus acts on the side.
Night scuba diving for an underwater, lamplight adventure. This is Finding Nemo – the extreme version.
"No man, listen. We focus on the next big thing. Those empty stadia? Multi-purpose office blocks, perhaps. What do you mean can we still use them for practise? Of course! "
You are: a leader, a doer, sometimes overbearing, sometimes arrogant
You could: Take a quad bike safari, help build a house in a township, get a massage (yes, you need TLC, too).
Also try...
The Toy Run (for charity). Thousands of motorcyclists in convoy for the sake of the little ones
Cool-Runnings tobogganing for wild winter sports without the ice.
Gallop along long beach. Test your balance on the back of a stallion and try not to get wet!
"It's gone. It's over. I can't believe it. I feel so empty. My family's bereft. Empty weekends. What are we going to do? I think I'll write a poem."
You are: a thinker, a creative, sometimes overly analytical, sometimes overly melancholic
You could: read a book, write a book, turn your photos into a book; walk in the woods.
Also try...
The Clanwilliam Flower Show with indigenous plants and flowers on a reconstructed landscape.
Cape Town's amazing contemporary museums – a well of fascination and mystery where knowledge is second to entertainment.
Sorting the gems from the jewels at the Scratch Patch (children love it too).
'Yeah, the World Cup, hey? Shame, no, I'm fine; I see you're not, though. Let's have tea? I was a fan too, but it's more peaceful now. Or maybe we'll have coffee? No, I don't have any soccer themed zoo biscuits."
You are: an adaptor, a peace lover, sometimes indifferent, sometimes indecisive.
You could: join a local soccer club, join a gym or visit an African art gallery.
Also try...
Looking up and seeing shapes in the sky. Not cloud watching, but kite spotting. The Cape Town International Kite Festival is a celebration of shapes and colours and... wind!
A little history and a little carnival. The Goema and Glitter exhibition showcases one of the city's longest standing celebrations of culture.
A day on the beach. The sun doesn't have to shine, there's kite surfing, surfing, horse riding and more. choose between Clifton, Camps Bay, Llandudno, Bloubergstrand and others.
Actually, you're probably a combination of a few of these types. So take your pick of therapeutic post World Cup activities. It's called self medication. And it's not habit forming. Yet.
And if you're addicted? Move to England. The weather’s worse in winter, sure, but they've got balls too.